That Floating Poo Was Way Too Meaningful! These Are the TV Disappointments of the Year.

As we reflect on the TV offerings of the past year, a selection of series stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable failures. Ranging from cringe-inducing sequels to bafflingly poor documentaries, here are the programmes that left us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

Where to begin with this divisive follow-up? Plagued with dreadful writing, painful arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series fought to justify its existence. Briefly, as the final series started, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then came an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the final series. It ended on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s loo full of poo was just way too symbolic. Still, viewers certainly found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a small sob?

All’s Fair

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was practically the smallest of this show's issues. The recipient of a very rare zero star review, it was hard to know where to begin listing the flaws. The hilariously leaden dialogue? The tedious veneration of affluence and materialism? The seemingly wilful parade of tropes? Acting so poor they felt borderline malicious? Let’s just say “all of the above” and never speak of this show again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Given the legal troubles, domestic violence allegations and fatherly shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d truly have known it from this multi-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive excess while failing to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any sympathy this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charismatic but dismissive egotist.

The Iris Affair

Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the get-go: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.

MobLand

Shady figures meeting in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a little dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to indulge unconvincing dialects. But there were plenty of other problems. Mainly that it was just profoundly boring; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various cockney picaresques which felt rather simplistic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Considering the extent to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s performatively enraged commentators, it’s almost easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into twee lifestyle as deliberate statements. But then you watch them and are forced to admit that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue animated; a poster for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark platitudes and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by vast, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are obviously fascinating things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, identity, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Instead, the experience was akin to consuming a sales brochure. She obviously has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any helps with this cagey non-event of a series.

The Game Show

It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a famous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality managing her estate. What more could you want? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too complicated to detail what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up smelling of a programme that was straining desperately to emulate something way beyond it.

Too Much

How does one succeed a show that captured a generation? The expectation was enormous for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity friends involved felt icky.

The Sketch Show Return

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the shrewd recruitment of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be handled sensitively. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lumbering from oddly breezy, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A total mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We love the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a discovery that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about government agencies targeting – and killing off – intellectuals frankly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This uncritical portrait followed the online personality notorious for sexual escapades as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater examination of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who showed up to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific shots and absolutely no critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.